Sometimes life takes you to extraordinary places…
Last Tuesday was such a moment. With my wife and son, I was visiting Tess, our daughter, in Arizona – Flagstaff. She’s studying there for half a year at Northern Arizona University (NAU).
A phone call from Joost ‘Niki’ Luijsterburg, better known as Mister F-16 and in daily life commander of the Dutch Training Detachment F-35, 308 Fighter Squadron (Ring, ring, I understand you’re ‘in the area’?), led to an inspiring day at Luke Air Force Base, where I had the opportunity to speak to a group of American, Danish, and Dutch F-35 pilots and their support staff. A unique experience with valuable insights, which I’d like to share with you.
De lessen van een โTop Gunโ omgeving
When we think of defense pilots, images of elite fighter pilots quickly come to mind. Men and women who perform under immense pressure, where seconds make the difference between success and failure. It’s a world where mental strength isn’t optional, but essential.
What struck me during this day? Despite these people being at the absolute top of their field, there was no trace of arrogance or pride.
On the contrary:
- They were approachable and interested.
- They recognized the challenges of the PAID reality (Pressure, Anxiety, Information overload, Distraction) and sought concrete mental tools.
- There was a deep-rooted gratitude for their work, colleagues, and the opportunity to continuously learn and improve.
The Power of Simplicity in Mental Resilience
During my lecture, I emphasized the importance of practical, directly applicable mental strategies. F-35 pilots don’t have time for complex psychological theories. What they need are simple and effective tools to make the right decisions under pressure. This aligns perfectly with the philosophy of my book: mental strength isn’t a mystical concept, but a skill that everyone can develop.
Important principles I discussed with them:
1. Energy Management
Of course, during preparation, (de)briefing, and while flying, you don’t want under- or over-tension but optimal tension. The right ‘levels of arousal’ as we call it in sports and performance psychology. But also throughout the day and when you go home or on the weekend, it’s nice if you can find the right tension, or rather relaxation. So you could call it stress and energy management through tension regulation.
2. Attention Control
Can you focus your attention on one place at a time, and when multiple types of information (including distractions) come at you, can you prioritize, switch, and get your attention back to the right place? This is an absolutely necessary core competency in aviation, and the circles of attention are a perfect instrument to work with, even for fighter pilots.
3. Goal Setting
Focus on the process, not the outcome – In a cockpit full of high-tech systems and rapidly changing situations, attention must be on the right actions (how), not on the fear of mistakes or distractions (what).
4. Control over Breathing and Physiology
Even in the most stressful situations, a conscious breathing technique can make the difference between panic and calm. Mantra: breathe first, then the rest!
5. Mental Resilience as Team Culture
Mental strength isn’t an individual responsibility, but something that’s built and strengthened within a team culture. With psychological safety as a foundation, people can flourish.
Mental Strength in Daily Life
What made this day even more special was the realization that even F-35 pilots, the absolute top of aviation, also struggle with balance and mental resilience in their private lives. They honestly admitted that, like everyone else, they sometimes react more emotionally when their partner asks for something extra or when their children don’t listen. Despite their impressive skills and training, outside the cockpit, they’re just ordinary people dealing with the same challenges as all of us.
This emphasizes an important point from my book ‘Discover Your Mental Strength‘: resilience isn’t just important at work or in extreme situations, but especially in daily life.
How do you deal with stressful moments at home? How do you ensure that you don’t become drained by the demands of others? How do you maintain calmness and perspective, even when you’re tired and overstimulated?
Practical strategies that I shared with them and that are applicable to everyone:
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Name and acknowledge your stress
By consciously recognizing when you’re building up tension, you can switch gears more quickly and prevent emotions from unnecessarily escalating.
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Plan recovery moments
Mental strength is not about constantly pushing through, but about knowing when to recharge. This applies to top athletes, pilots, and anyone leading a busy life.
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Respond consciously instead of acting impulsively
By planning short breaks more often, you create moments of reflection and prevent unconscious reactions to stressful situations at home or at work.
Mental strength is universal
One of the most valuable insights from this day was that mental resilience is universal. Whether you’re a top athlete, entrepreneur, police officer, or fighter pilot – the principles remain the same. Everyone deals with stress, uncertainty, and high expectations. What matters is how you handle it.
It was inspiring to see that even within the ‘Top Gun’ world, the quest for mental growth and resilience never stops. It was no surprise that immediately after the lecture, I was invited to speak to the Danish F-35 Squadron as soon as my book is available in English. An opportunity that I, of course, seize with both hands!
A dream taking shape
In addition to this professional experience, there was another personal highlight: the impact on my son Finn. He wants to become a fighter pilot and slept with a big smile for days after this experience. I’m certain he’ll become a colleague of the Royal Air Force in the future. In whatever form!
This day was a confirmation that mental strength, perseverance, and an open mindset open doors – whether on land, at sea, in the air, or in daily life.
On to more inspiring encounters and further spreading of mental resilience! To be continued…
